Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Here’s something I wrote eight years ago. It’s still very relevant and highlights that most things in life is “work in progress” and that’s why I want to share it as my first post on my new website.

In his song from 1976 Elton John has made the words “Sorry seems to be the be the hardest words” famous. It’s a rather sad love song about a romantic relationship falling apart and I’m almost certain you have heard it at some point.

The lyrics goes:

“What have I got to do to make me you love me, what have I got to do to make you care…”

and they continue:

“What have I got to do to make you want me, what have I got to do to be heard?

What do I say when it’s all over?

And sorry seem to be the hardest word…”

Now let’s pause Elton John for a moment and ask the question; Have you ever done something that you deep down knew wasn’t right for you?

I have. Over and over again. Anything from not leaving a job that I didn’t like, to staying in a relationship that I knew wasn’t right for me. Most of the time I have come up with some justification to myself for continuing my behaviour, but when it really comes to it, it has all been based on one thing. Fear.

Fear of letting go of the familiar, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough and ultimately fear of being true to myself.

I recently did a personality test. It consisted of a large battery of detailed questions and at the end I found out which one of the 16 personality types I belonged to. It was fascinating. 

When I read the description, it was as if someone had stepped right into my head and was able to read my mind and describe almost exactly how I felt and acted in most situations, and to be perfectly honest, it brought tears to my eyes. It also highlighted some things that I deep down knew were true, but I hadn’t allowed myself to fully embrace, at least not yet.

So let’s return to Elton John and the words in his song. This time, rather than looking at it as a dialogue between two individuals, I want to change the focus to one individual. Yourself.

“What have I got to do to make you love me?… “What have I got to do to be heard?”

Looking at the words from the internal perspective I think the ultimate answer to these questions is to be true to yourself.

It is comparatively easy to listen, love and care for others, but so much harder to give that gift to yourself, to fully accept and to love yourself for who you are. However, the more I allow myself to follow my heart and not compare myself to others and to fully trust myself, the better I feel, bit by bit.

When I do allow myself to be completely true to myself, my beliefs and my feelings, those moments are absolutely the best ones. Getting there though has been a hard internal battle, almost as if I’ve been digging my heals deep into the ground to stop myself from admitting that I’ve been wrong. That I am not true to myself and that “Sorry seems to be the hardest word”!